The clitoris and the G-spot can lead the way to intense orgasms, but how do you get it started with partners? In this guide you'll get tips for positions where you can easily hit and stimulate the G-spot and the clitoris
This guide is primarily made for queer people with vulvas, but the positions and advice can easily be used by people with vulvas of all sexualities. Also, sex doesn't need to involve penetration, so in this guide you'll get tips for both penetrating and non-penetrating methods to stimulate the G-spot and clitoris.
A lot of people connect G-spot stimulation with penetration, but it's not the only way! But to elaborate you'll need a little anatomy lesson first:
The visible and non-visible clitoris
Maybe you have already read our complete guide to the clitoris or maybe you need a little refresher. The clitoris is the little nub, situated in the area where the inner labia meet. For some, the clitoris is covered by a little hood of skin, while for others it's completely exposed - both is totally normal. But the clitoris is actually a lot larger than the visible nub - it's got arms that stretches far into the pelvis. Some think that these arms are actually the G-spot. So in this theory, the G-spot is not a specific point or spot, but a larger area.
Others believe that the G-spot is actually people with vulvas prostate, which is a gland only people with penises have. This theory is based on the fact that when a person with a vulva experience a squirting orgasm, the fluid that is expelled contains a prostate-specific antigen - that leads to the connection between the prostate and the G-spot, which in this theory is a specific little spot. This is backed up by some people with vulvas experiencing their G-spot as a slightly coarse little spot, almost like a walnut, which they can reach and touch with their fingers. However, some don't have or can't find this spot.
So, there's no consensus or enough research to confirm if the G-spot is actually a spot or a larger area. The best thing to do then is to explore a little, trying out what feels best for you. All bodies are different and experience touch and stimulation differently. The good thing is that whether you view the G-spot as a spot or an area, you're still able to hit and stimulate it from the outside. This can be done by pressing down at a spot between the navel and the pubic bone, while also stimulating yourself somehow, like with your hands or with a sextoy. If you press down on the pubic mound, the area above your labia, you'll feel a bone. That's the pubic bone, and right above that in the direction of the navel is where you press down.
The spot you hit when you're pressing down is not the same on everyone, so it might take a little trial and error before you find a spot that feels (really) nice. You should also keep in mind that you're also pressing on the bladder, which then presses the G-spot/area - so make sure to pee first.
There are many different positions where grinding and the clitoris are the stars of the show. You could try the classic missionary position, but the queer version. In this version, one person lies down flat on their back with one leg slightly bent, so the other person can grind more easily.
You can also try a variation of "the scissor", where you get on your knees and then situate yourself crosswise on each others thighs. By doing this you can grind on each others thighs, and stimulate both the clitoris and the vulva. This position, and grinding in general, just feels a little lovelier with lube, so use a nice, non-sticky one.
The scissor is an old classic, and is both loved and hated. The scissor has acquired a somewhat mysterious status, where some think it's the only way two people with vulvas can have sex, while others think queer people would never do that in real life, only in porn. However, in a study 40,7 % answered that the scissor was a regular part of their sex life, so there's got to be something to it. But how do you do it? Some do it by having one person lie on their side with one leg raised, so the other can hold the leg and grind. The most important things to remember is lube and that there is no scissor police - your scissor can look however you want it to.
In the 69 position you can both give and receive clitoris stimulation at the same time. You do it by having one person lay on their back with the other on top, or you can both be on your sides - that's totally up to you. Use your tongue or fingers to lick, kiss, massage, whatever you want, both internally and externally.
You can also try out a stimulating clitoris gel, which gives a tantalizing and arousing sensation. By increasing the blood flow to the area, the clitoris becomes more sensitive, which can make an orgasm easier to achieve.
Even though the G-spot can be stimulated from the outside by pressing the area around the pubic bone, penetration is also pretty effective. The G-spot or area depending on how you view it, is situated about 2-5 cm inside the vagina, in the direction out towards the pubic bone. You can find the spot by making a little hook with your finger (or fingers), or by using a curved dildo in a harness. This pretty dildo from Strap-On-Me, who also makes the nicest lingerie inspired harnesses, has a curved top which makes it perfect for hitting the G-spot. If you're looking for a more classic alternative, this slightly curved dildo is a great option. If you're using a harness, you should also try out a Bumpher. Bumpher is a silky soft silicone cushion, which can be used to stimulate the one wearing the harness. Just add a little waterbased lube and enjoy some lovely grinding on Bumphers two little mounds.
Any position where one person is sitting on top of the other is great for both G-spot and clitoris stimulation. With the dildo you can stimulate the G-spot, while also having easy access to the clitoris which you, your partner or maybe a sextoy can stimulate.
And remember, there's no right or wrong way to have sex, and sex doesn't have to end in an orgasm. Sex is what you make of it, and it's okay to experiment, try things out and laugh about it, until you find just the right type of pleasure for you.
Mollaioli, Daniele & Sansone, Andrea & Colonnello, Elena & Limoncin, Erika & Ciocca, Giacomo & Vignozzi, Linda & Jannini, Emmanuele. (2021). Do We Still Believe There Is a G-spot?. Current Sexual Health Reports.