Threesome: How to Have a Good and Safe Threesome

A threesome is sex between three people, often called a threesome. It’s one of the most common fantasies, and it can be amazing when all three people feel comfortable and agree on the boundaries. Most of the work lies in the conversation beforehand. Here, you’ll find everything you need to know—from the different types and finding a third partner to rules, positions, and jealousy.

Many couples dream of a threesome, but fewer take the plunge because they’re unsure how to go about it. The good news is that it’s mostly about openness and preparation, not technique. In this guide, we’ll walk you through how you, as a couple, can have a safe and enjoyable threesome experience.

What is a triangle?

A threesome is when three people have sex together at the same time. It could be a couple inviting a third person to join them, or three individuals getting together. It can be a one-time experience or something you do repeatedly. Regardless, the most important thing is that all three are willing and know what they’re agreeing to.

The Different Forms

• FFM, where two people with vulvas and one person with a penis are together.
• MMF, where two people with penises and one person with a vulva are together.
• Mixed-gender settings where gender and roles are not predetermined. In these situations, openness and dialogue are even more important.

Talk about it long before it happens

Start with your imagination. What turns you on about the idea, and what makes you nervous? Talk about who the third person could be, what each of you is in the mood for, and what’s completely off-limits. This conversation isn’t a waste of time. It’s the very foundation for making sure it goes well. Many couples also use dirty talk to play with their fantasies long before they actually do anything in real life.

Agree on rules that work for you

• Decide what is acceptable and what is off-limits for each individual.
• Agree on a discreet safe word or signal so you can stop without ruining the mood.
• Talk about STDs and birth control beforehand, and use a condom. See, for example, LELO HEX condoms at.
• Decide whether this will be a one-time experience and how you'll talk about it afterward.

Finding a third party

The third person could be someone you both know and feel comfortable with, or someone you meet through an app or a club. There are apps and websites designed specifically for couples looking for a third person. No matter how you find this person, they also deserve transparency about the boundaries. A third person is a human being with their own boundaries, not just an accessory to your fantasy. Feel free to arrange a brief, no-strings-attached chat or a drink first, so you can gauge the chemistry.

Positions and Practical Details for the Day

With three bodies, more possibilities open up, and it can be fun to experiment with who does what. Let it develop naturally rather than forcing a specific choreography. Have plenty of lube on hand so everyone stays comfortable throughout, and find a favorite from our selection of lubes at. If you want to take things further, a strap-on and harness can open up even more possibilities, and our guide to sex positions can provide inspiration that’s easily adaptable for a threesome.

Jealousy can be a factor

It’s completely normal to feel jealousy, both during and after. That doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong. See it as a sign that you need to talk. Some couples find that a threesome brings them closer together, precisely because it requires so much openness. If you’re curious about related dynamics, you can also read our guide to cuckolding and hotwife.

Talk it over afterward

After a threesome, it’s important for the two of you to talk about how it went. What was nice, and was there anything that felt wrong? This is when you’ll figure out if you want to do it again. Being open with each other afterward protects your relationship.

Frequently Asked Questions About Triangles

How do you get a triangle?

Talk about your fantasy together first, and then find a third person you both feel comfortable with—either someone you know or someone you meet through an app or a club. Agree on clear rules before you meet.

How do we avoid jealousy in a love triangle?

Talk it through thoroughly beforehand, agree on clear rules, and use a safe word. Jealousy is normal and is best handled with openness, both during and after.

Who should be the third one?

It could be someone you both know, or someone you meet through an app or a club. The most important thing is that all three of you feel comfortable and have agreed to the terms.

How do we do this safely?

Talk about birth control beforehand, use a condom, have plenty of lube on hand, and agree on a safe word that everyone will respect.

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