Playing with the senses
Sense play is a term that describes numerous types of activities and related toys, and can be said to be a part of the entire BDSM-spectrum.
What is BDSM?
The definition of the letters in the term BDSM varies a bit, but the most typical definitions are: bondage, discipline/dominating, sadomasochism/submission, masochism. Bondage involves submission to a partner by use of some type of restraint, like rope or handcuffs. A masochist is a person that enjoys some type of agony, painful or not, while the sadomasochist is a person that enjoys inflicting agony on others.
Sense play gets its name because it involves all the senses, not just the sense of touch, which vibrators or dildos could be obvious choices of sex toys to satisfy.
The most important part of sense play, especially the type that involves harder elements of BDSM, is always trust and mutual consent. BDSM can help make sex more intimate or create a special bond between, for example, the dominator and the dominated, but it cannot be done without a sense of comfort and clear rules for what is allowed and what is not. Especially sadomasochists have a certain responsibility to their partner(s), as the sadomasochist by default is in complete control of the other. For example, activities that involves a tied-up partner receiving lashes from a whip can quickly become anxiety-provoking or uncomfortable, if clear rules for behavior has not been established beforehand. A good idea for the sadomasochists is to check in with their partner(s) during sex, make sure they are alright, and maybe establish the classic "safe-word", if it becomes too overwhelming and someone feels the need to take a pause or stop. Sex is only fun when there is consent from start till finish.
Try new materials
When consent and rules are established, you are ready to start. A way to ease into exploring new sensations and triggering different senses, is to try different materials. Silicone is one of the most used materials for sex toys, so it could be interesting to experiment with for example glass.
And don't worry, sex toys made of glass is not the same type of glass as your water cups at home, and it certainly won't break as easy. Glass sex toys are typically made from borosilicate, which is especially robust and is able to withstand changes in temperature. That being said, you can still risk making little fractures in your glass sex toys if you should be so unlucky as to drop it sufficiently hard enough. Make sure to check it for fractures or rough edges if you do drop it.
The fact that borosilicate is treated to withstand temperature changes also means it is great for temperatureplay. Temperatureplay is a part of sense play, where you experiment with heating or cooling for an added effect. Try it out on different parts of the body, to figure out what works for you or your partner(s).
Sex toys made from glass also has the added benefit of being perfect for anal, as it can be used with silicone-based lube. Water-based lube is, of course, also completely useful for anal, but has the disadvantage of being absorbed by the skin faster than silicone-based lube, so you might experience having to re-apply a bit more often. The anus does not create its own lubricant, so lube is an absolute must for the best possible experience.
Experiment with the painful
Pain and being inflicted agony might seem like the complete opposite of pleasure, but for some it is actually the source of satisfaction. Surrendering yourself and your pleasure to someone else can be a very intimate, sensitive experience, if the people involved trust each other.
To explore the dominating or submissive role, a good place to start is with a tool to fixate hands (or feet for that matter). There are a lot of options available, and at Peech we have a good selection. The cuffs from Unbound Babes are the most wild, where the cuffies or skin-safe bondage tape are more calm alternatives. Cuffies and bondage tape also have the added benefit of being easy to put on or take off, if you're suddenly in a hurry to rip it off ;)
If you are interested in exploring bondage, the above mentioned products are great options, or you could try with a piece of cloth. You should however be aware that regular cloth, duct tape or rope not made specifically for bondage can give rug-burn, or stick to the skin or hair when trying to remove it, which is not exactly the greatest way to end your experience together.
If you or your partner(s) are up for a more painful element, the tsk whip is a great option to start with. Tsk is a whip with a large leather paddle (the flat end) in one end, and silicone tassels in the other end. The benefit of a whip is that it can be used for tickling by running the tassels over the body, but also for a harder type of punishment with the paddle-end. It can be recommended to alternate between tickling, spanking or just touching your partner(s) body, so that in one moment they long for the pain of the spanking, and in the next the gentle caress of the tassels or your hands or mouth. The expectations and teasing element of not knowning which touch will be experienced next can be extremely satisfying - but remember to say stop if the spanking gets too much.
Remember yourself
Sense play can be an amazing way to bring a different element of closeness and empathy into sex. To explore and take your time doing it. It can be a way to enter what some BDSM-communities refer to as "subspace", which describes the sensory ecstasy you can experience when submitting to someone.
But it requires communication and that the parties involved trusts each other. That you notice your boundaries and respect them, instead of just doing what your partner(s) want, or act according to a certain expectation to how you are sex-positive or "liberated". Being sex-positiv does not mean that you have to or you should say yes to everything. Rather, it means that you honestly embrace yourself, your sexuality and gender-identity, with all that it entails - turn-offs, turn-ons, boundaries and desires
