Written by Alexander Sebastian Lembourn, journalist, writer, social media specialist
Why is it a good skill to have?
Got a hot date or want to make your partner's cheeks hot? Then this article is for you. In a digital world, sharing your lust and thoughts with your partner(s) over text can be super naughty. It can be a great way to share your fantasies and needs with a new partner - or a tantalising foreplay to get the blood pumping fast on an otherwise boring Wednesday. That's why we've put together 6 tips for you to get more present and naughty sexting.
Read also: How do talk about your sexual fantasies?
1. Be honest about your desires - what do you really want?
It's hot to share your fantasies, and even hotter if it's something you actually want to do to each other in real life. So what are you into? Licking? Touching? Dominance? It can be easier to share what you'd like to do to each other in writing than in real life. So take the opportunity to honestly share what you'd like to do to each other when you see each other.
2: Be realistic - remember you only have two hands.
It can kill the flow of a good sexting session if your descriptions suddenly become illogical. After all, you can't have two hands around your partner's neck while slapping their ass at the same time. The devil is in the detail, so keep it realistic and remember that you are, after all, only human. Bonus tip: Write in future tense: You're not doing anything to your partner(s) over a dm right now. You want to do something to your partner(s) - in the future.
3: Use synonyms for your genitals.
Don't get corny: "I'll fuck you doggy style." Ugh. It's a matter of taste, of course, but try to use synonyms or phrases that go beyond the most straight-on-and-hard descriptions of sex. Lap, breast, wet, thrust, sink deep, throb and the like. There can be many ways to describe sex and genitals. Try to give your words a more poetic-ish sound than the vulgar descriptions you might otherwise be familiar with. It helps to build a more sensual mood. At the same time, avoid words like vulva and penis - they can get a bit too clinical.
4: Remember the sensual - kisses on the belly can be hotter than straight on and hard.
Big hands on the body, kisses on the inner thighs, a hand on the back of the neck, a sigh in the ear, warm skin against skin, a tongue on the nipple, a shiver and a tingle. There are many small sensual moments in sex that makes the session an intimate and intense experience. Teasing each other and driving each other crazy is one of the great joys of sexting - so try to remember what else turns you on other than direct penetrative sex.
5: Build to a climax - don't start with the end.
A really good sexting session starts with a kiss and ends with an orgasm. Not the other way around. So if you have the energy, think two steps ahead along the way and build up to a climax that's either about both of you or about one of you. It's redemptive that your horny sexting ends somewhere. Maybe a nice fuck together, maybe an orgasm from oral sex, maybe a whole third scenario that only you know about. But remember that all good stories are made better by a happy ending.
6: Bring your sexting to life with nudes, audio and videos
The good old saying "show it, don't tell it" also applies to sexting. So try to spice up your hot sexting with pics, videos and naughty audio messages - either dripping along the way or as a climax to your sexy text fantasy.
Need some inspiration for your nudes? Read our guide to better nudes here.
Sextoys to use while sexting
In our range of products we have two vibrators, which can be controlled from a long distance: Phoenix Neo from Svakom and Lush 3 from Lovense. If you or your partner(s) have a vulva, you can control the vibrations for each other while you're sexting.
Read also: Dirty talk for beginners
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