Guide: How to ride your partner(s)
Riding refers to a sexual act where you are on top of your partner and move up and down or back and forth while your partner's penis is up inside you either vaginally or anally. It's a form of sex where you are in control, and can control both the pace and depth of penetration. When it comes to riding - and having sex in general - it's important to remember that it's not a performance centered around mastering a particular technique. It's an interaction in which you have sex in ways that feel exciting and pleasurable for both you and your partner(s). Try it out, be patient, and have fun!
Before you ride your partner(s)
Before you ride your partner(s), it's a good idea to make sure the penis is fully erect. If it's not, it's more likely to fall out. You may want to use a penis ring to enhance and maintain the erection. When riding, your upper body in particular is exposed. If you don't feel comfortable with this, you may want to consider whether this is a good sex position for you - and you may want to have a chat with your partner(s) about this.
Practice riding your partner(s)
Before you go riding your partner(s), it's a good idea to find out how comfortable riding feels for you. First, sit on your knees on either your bed or the floor - then sit down so that your thighs and calves are in contact. You can either try pointing your feet out so your legs form a W - or you can try spreading your legs so they form a V. You can also put the soles of your feet onto the mattress or floor, so that you are sitting in a deep squat. Find the best position for you to sit. Now try to see if you can feel a difference if you lean either forwards or backwards.
Before you really start moving, it might be a good idea to place a cushion under you. If you are sitting on the floor, you can also use a dildo with a suction cup and attach it to the floor - with this, you can find out which style of riding gives you the most pleasure. Now try moving your hips up and down or back and forth in small thrusts - if you're in bed, you can use the soft surface to bounce you into making the movements. You can also try moving your pelvis in circular motions. Try to vary the pace, depth and how hard you push. Riding can be both strenuous and hard, so check with yourself which position makes the most sense for you.
Different sex positions for riding your partner(s)
Which positions work best for you depends on several things. These include the shape of your partner's penis, whether you feel like making eye contact, or whether you feel like stimulating particular parts of your body while you're doing it. We've listed a number of suggested sex positions that might be good to ride in - and described the benefits of each.
- Them lying down - you on top facing them: a position most people associate with riding. Particularly ideal if your partner(s) have a penis that curves upwards. In this position, you can sit upright as well as lean forward or backward. You can either move vertically up and down, or you can thrust your abdomen back and forth by making small tilts. To ride steadily, you can 'hook' your feet either around or under your partner(s) calves, using this as a starting point for your movements. Leaning forward, you can make more rocking movements: your bottom will automatically lift upwards, and you can let your partner hold your hips or bottom, and guide you down over their penis again. In this position, it's easy for either yourself or your partner(s) to stimulate your nipples, penis or clitoris while you're at it.
- Riding your partner(s) without penetration: if you experience pain or need a break from penetration, the above position can easily be used to ride without penetration. Let your partner(s)' penis rest against their stomach. Sit on the base of the penis and apply extra lubricant. Move your hips back and forth while using your hands to stimulate yourself and/or them. This way, you'll be able to massage your clitoris or labia while stimulating your partner's penis with both your abdomen and your hands.
- Them lying down - you on top with your face turned away from theirs: a position that's particularly good if your partner(s) have a penis that curves downwards. In this position, you can also sit both upright or lean forward or backward, as well as move up and down or back and forth. To ride steadily in this position, you can 'hook' your feet under your partner's waist and grip their legs. This allows you to use more than your hips to make the riding movements. Your partner(s) also have easy access to grab your hips and buttocks in this position. If you sit upright, there is a good chance that you can stimulate your partner(s) testicles while riding. You can either stroke them or grab them.
- Them lying down - you sideways on top: If your partner(s) have a penis that curves to the side, you can also sit diagonally on top of them. Place one leg between theirs, and the other leg at their waist or hip. You can also ask your partner(s) to lie on their side so their penis is pointing up at the ceiling. You can place your legs under their thighs and waist, and head turned away from theirs. If necessary, put your hands on the bed and use your whole body to rock back and forth. If you're up for it, it can also be hot to sway your back when the penis penetrates, and keep your back straight when it penetrates again.
- Them standing on their knees - you standing on your knees with your back to them: Have your partner(s) stand on their knees, keeping their upper body either upright or leaning back with their palms on the bed. You can now sit two different ways: either with your thighs and knees placed between their legs, or with one leg between theirs and the other on the outside. Which way you should position yourself depends on whether they have a penis that curves to the side or not. In this position, you can use your thighs to move up and down, and your partner(s) can grab you around the waist to help with the movements. It can be both naughty and give a massaging sensation if you press your heel up into your partner(s) perineum while riding them in this position.
- Them on a chair - you sitting on top of them: Sit on top of your partner(s) with the legs together or spread apart - you can sit either facing towards or away from them. The most important thing in order to succeed with riding in this position, is that your feet can reach the floor. Use the floor to push off and move up and down. If necessary, let your partner(s) help by placing their hands under your buttocks or thighs.
Read also: The guide to sex positions
Read also: Guide to penetrative anal sex