Impact play is part of BDSM and involves hitting/spanking your partner(s) with a specific object for sexual pleasure. In this article, we'll guide you on how to get better at impact play, as well as the pros and cons of the different objects you can use.
How can I get better at impact play?
The first thing you can do to get better at impact play is to understand why you want to include it in sex. Do you get pleasure from the power play as a giver or receiver, do you enjoy pain, do you just like the feeling of being spanked, or it is something else? When you can identify the elements that turn you on, it can be easier to practice and include more of the same kind of elements.
If you like to play with power and surrendering to someone, it is obvious to include bondage elements. Cuffs, ropes or bondage tape are good options here. When you're restrained, your partner(s) have full control over you, which makes it even more exciting and hot to be spanked.
If you like the feeling of pain when being spanked, you may want to bring in other sensory elements. Wax candles specifically for kink and nipple clamps can be great ways to bring in a little pain. Although pain can seem like the opposite of pleasure, it can be a way to heighten the senses and make all touching even more pleasurable.
To get better at the actual spanking part, it's a good idea to practice with your spanking tool before you actually use it on others. Just holding it in your hand and gaining confidence with the tool is always a good idea. You can also practice hitting properly by practicing on an object first.
When spanking, it's important to warm up the skin first and not just give it your full force straight away. You can do this with your hand or a wide tool like a paddle, for example, which spreads the strokes out a little more. You should also remember not to hit only in one place, but spread it out a little.
Because the more you hit, the more sensitive the skin becomes. So if you only hit 1 spot, it will quickly become too sensitive for more. When the skin starts to get hot and red, you can find a new target, or just change the target continuously. You can also read more about spanking techniques and safety in our guide here.
How can I talk about impact play with my partner(s)?
When you understand your own desire better, it can be easier to communicate it to your partner(s). If you are the dominant part and want to try impact play on your partner(s), it is important to explain your desire first and then give them the choice to join. If your partner(s) are not submissive, they cannot and should not be forced to take part in impact play. Because while pain can heighten the senses and feel amazing if spanking turns you on, pain can also just be pain if it doesn't turn you on at all. So it's important not to force your partner(s) to participate in impact play if they're not into it. If they do want to join in, make it clear that they can always change their mind during the act.
If you are the submissive part and want your partner(s) to spank you, it is important to know your limits first. Your partner(s) may not necessarily have experience with impact play, and it can be easier for everyone if you can instruct them on what sensations you like and pain limits you have. You don't necessarily know your limits either, and therefore it is also important to have a talk about saying stop during the play if it becomes too much.
Talking about fantasies with your partner(s) can be uncomfortable and it's important to do it in a safe space. You can also read our guide on how to talk about sexual fantasies here for more inspiration.
What tools can I use?
There are many different tools you can use for impact play. If you spontaneously feel like doing some impact play and don't have the typical tools at hand, you might feel tempted to use anything.
But it actually makes sense to use either just the hand, or the more typical tools: whips and floggers. When you use other tools that are not specifically intended for impact play, you run the risk of having a different center of gravity than you expected and hitting too hard or incorrectly. Of course, you can always use equipment such as a belt or a leash, but be aware if it has metal buckles or similar.
Using your hand for impact play
The advantage of using your hand for impact play is that it feels very intimate and doesn't require you to own any tools to get started.
The disadvantage, however, is that your hand can quickly become sore or irritated. Depending on how hard you hit or for how long, your hand may hurt a little. So the hand can be a good warm-up or for shorter rounds.
Using tools for impact play
On the other hand, whips, floggers or paddles can be gentler on your hands, so you can enjoy spanking for longer. Once you've mastered the tools, it's also not difficult to control how hard you hit.
Whips give a more sharp pain and may not be the best tool to choose if you are a beginner and just getting acquainted with impact play. Here, a paddle may be better, as it distributes the blow more evenly and feels less intense.
Our Peech paddle
Floggers, which are a kind of whip with many tails, also distribute the strokes well and can feel more or less intense depending on how hard you hit. The downside can be that the tails can be hard to control and you may not hit as intended. However, with a little practice beforehand, it's quite easy to learn and master.
Read also: What is sexual aftercare?
Read also: Our guide to kink and mild BDSM