Masturbation guide for people with a penis
96,1% of people with a penis have tried masturbating before. For people with a penis, masturbation in itself is typically not as taboo as for people with a vulva, but the method of masturbation is on the other hand. There are many ways you can give yourself pleasure, none more correct than others, and in this guide you can get tips and advice on how
Most people associate masturbation for people with a penis with some sort of caressing of the penis until ejaculation. Exactly how to "caress" the penis varies from person to person and there is no singular correct method. Some stimulate the entire shaft, while others stick to the most sensitive part of the penis; the glans. Others do a combination. Regardless of your preference, it can be a really good idea to use a lubricant when you masturbate. Lube reduces friction, which can make the experience much more pleasant. Silicone-based lube is absorbed more slowly by the skin than water-based lube, and is therefore better for longer sessions. Use as much as you want and massage it on, for example, the penis, scrotum, perineum or anus.
There is a lot of taboo associated with stimulation of the perineum and anus, especially for heterosexual people with penises. Many feel that these are areas reserved for homosexual people. Let's just make it clear that the way you masturbate and the kind of touch that turns you on cannot determine your sexuality - only you can. The perineum and anus are both erogenous zones that can intensify your orgasm if stimulated - so there's good reason to include and explore potentially new areas when masturbating.
Ejaculation or orgasm
Although many associate ejaculation, i.e. when the semen comes out with an orgasm, this is not always the case. You can experience ejaculation without orgasm and vice versa. Ejaculating without an orgasm is typically used in dominance play, like letting your partner(s) have full control over your orgasm and pleasure. One method for this is to stimulate the penis right up until the point where the orgasm occurs, and then stop all touching immediately. How the orgasm is then experienced can vary - for some the orgasm feels interrupted and unreleasing, while for others semen comes out, but without the bodily pleasure. It is therefore a method of teasing and creating frustration and excitement, and if you resume the stimulation of the penis, the subsequent orgasm can become even more intense.
You can also experiment with edging. Edging means that you postpone the orgasm for as long as you want or can stand it, by stopping masturbation just before ejaculation. This method can make the penis more sensitive and an orgasm even more satisfying.
Orgasm without ejaculation is called dry orgasm or retrograde ejaculation, where retrograde means "going in the opposite direction". With a retrograde ejaculation, the semen flows into the bladder instead of out through the urethra. In most cases retrograde ejaculation is not a cause for concern, but it is always a good idea to contact your doctor if you experience it. It could be due to diabetes, which can be nice to get diagnosed if it isn't already.
How much sperm is normal?
With a typical ejaculation, 2-5 ml of sperm come out. The amount of sperm and its appearance can vary from person to person. The semen can be completely white or more transparent, as well as being completely thin or thicker and almost a little lumpy. If you have ejaculated several times in one day, the semen that comes out is typically more watery and transparent - and this is completely normal. Remember that it is not dangerous to masturbate, and you cannot "run out" of sperm or damage sperm quality if you masturbate a lot.
If there is blood in the semen or it is slightly pink, you should go to the doctor, as it may be due to testicular cancer. It can also be caused by a blow to the testicles, but it is always important to have a doctor confirm or deny it.
In many porn films ejaculation is portrayed as a violent squirt show, where a lot more than just 5 ml comes out. You should never compare yourself to people in porn, or feel wrong if 1 liter of semen doesn't come out when you ejaculate - in some porn videos, fake sperm is sometimes injected into the urethra beforehand, so it looks like the persons own sperm - but it's not!
Prostate stimulation
The prostate is a gland that sits a few centimeters inside the anus in the direction towards the stomach. Prostate massage can be intense and enjoyable for people with a penis, especially when combined with "regular" masturbation. When you put pressure on the walls of the anus, you stimulate the many nerve endings in it, which can make an orgasm even better. This can easily be done by using a buttplug with a pointed end, such as this small buttplug or this set with three different sizes, so you can freely choose whichever size suits you.
If you want to learn more about the prostate orgasm and get more advice on how to get started, you can read our guide here.
Masturbation when you have partner(s)
Some people feel that it's unnecessary to masturbate when you're in a relationship. But masturbation is not a substitute for a partner, so you don't have to give it up just because you're in a relationship. Masturbation is a form of self-love where you are intimate with yourself, and your self-love should not be dictated by others. Masturbation can also be a good way to balance different sex drives in a relationship. In the vast majority of relationships, the desire for sex is not completely identical, and one party may have a higher sex drive than the other. It is completely normal, and it's rarely personal if your partner(s) have less desire for sex than you. With masturbation, you can satisfy your sexual needs without anyone feeling pressured to say yes to sex.
Many also like to masturbate together, which you can do in many different ways. For example, you can sit opposite of each other and just watch how each of you masturbates. Masturbation together can also be a good way to find out what turns your partner(s) on. By letting your partner(s) instruct you in how they want to be touched, you'll get an even better experience. It can be a bit difficult right at the beginning, especially if you don't know what you like, and therefore have difficulty expressing how your partner(s) should touch and stimulate. But that can be easily solved, precisely by experimenting with masturbating alone first.
The start-stop method
Some people with a penis may experience climaxing before they are ready or want to. This is called premature ejaculation. You are not abnormal if you experience premature ejaculation - research shows that 62% of men experience premature ejaculation with varying frequency in a typical year. But it can be the source of great frustration, and it's completely understandable if you want to train your stamina. For this purpose, masturbation can actually be a good method of training. The technique is called stop-start, and works by stimulating the penis until you are just about to ejaculate, and then stop completely. Breathe deeply and when the heart rate has dropped and you are less excited, you can start again. In this way you can continue for as long as you want, and after a few rounds of practice you may find that you can control your ejaculation better. Maybe your final ejaculation also feels more intense this way? You can also use a penis ring when training, like this simple silicone ring, as it both strengthens your erection but also make you last longer.
Many feel that premature ejaculation is shameful, and may find it difficult to talk to their partner(s) about it. But in fact, it may be better for your training to just let your partner(s) take control, as you typically get more excited by their touch, and therefore have a harder time controlling ejaculation. Guide your partner(s) to stimulate you and tell them when you are getting close to ejaculation so they can stop. If you are not ready to involve your partner(s), you can always contact your own doctor or a therapist, and come up with a treatment that works for you.
Sources:
Project SEXUS
Sundhed.dk
