Do you want to surprise your partner with a nice massage, or would you like to get better at massaging each other? In this article somatic therapist Molly Mørch explains the key to lovely partner massage.
Massage can be used both to relieve tension and stress, but also as a foreplay. Read on and learn more about partner massage.Get started
Before getting started, it is a good idea to agree on whether the massage can lead to sex, or whether it is "just" a matter of coziness and relaxation. It is nice for most people to know what the framework is, and this way, you avoid unfortunate situations. Also, consider agreeing on whether you should switch at some point, or whether only one of you should receive.
Then prepare the surroundings for the massage. Maybe it should take place in bed, or maybe on a top mattress on the living room floor. But make it comfortable for both the one who is to receive the massage and the one who is to give it. It is also important that the temperature in the room is comfortable, so that you do not freeze or feel too hot. It can also be nice maybe to dim the light, put on some relaxing music, and then find the oil you need. I recommend almond oil, and that you just make sure that it is warm when you start (use the microwave or a water bath in a pan, but be careful not to get too hot).
How to massage
It is a good idea to start with the feet and then work your way up to the head, and then have your partner turn around and then from the head and down towards the feet again or vice versa. As a rule, one should say that one should stay away from massaging or pressing on the bones and abdomen, and not directly on the spine at all.
Try playing around with a few different strokes. It can be some long calm wide strokes (eg from the feet and all the way up to the buttocks) with a flat hand, some slightly deeper movements with a clenched fist, where you work down into a larger muscle (eg the buttocks or the long muscles next to it and along the spine), and some small presses with the fingers (it could be a hand massage or scalp massage). Always use so much oil that it slides well, but not so much that it runs down the sides of the body.
For the adventurous, you can play a little with using some other parts of your body to massage with. Both balls, breasts, knees, face, forearms, feet and elbows are fabulous to massage with, but remember to be careful with how much pressure you put on the person being massaged. If the massage is to be more sensual, do not go directly to genitals, buttocks or breasts. Massage around and right up to the erogenous zones of your partner, leaving them waiting in suspense for as long as you can pull it off. Feel free to use lube specifically if you massage the genitals. It could be this one, for example.
A lot of people find giving massages slightly exhausting. The problems I hear most often are posture and time consumption. If you do not have a massage table, then it can be a little difficult to sit for a long time in a bed or on a floor to massage. So see what you can do to make it comfortable to also give the massage, it may be that you sit better with a pillow between your legs or on a small stool. Spending enough time can also be a problem. Here I usually advise to listen to the music, and to be curious about your partner's body and response, as well as to notice, and follow, your own breathing.
When you have finished the massage, it may be a good idea to talk about what was good. It can e.g. be helpful to write a note on the phone so you can remember it for next time.
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