Here you can read about dyspareunia, which is this painful condition. This is a guide for sex with yourself or a partner and advice for the pain.
What is dyspareunia?
Dyspareunia means you experience pain in the vaginal opening for a stretch time, the vagina or deep in the pelvis when you try to have penetrative sex or after penetrative sex. This can often be felt with the fingers, penis and sex toys.
Primary and secondary dyspareunia
Dyspareunia is divided into primary and secondary. If you experience primary dyspareunia, it means that you have always had pain during sex / after sex. Reasons for this can in some cases be congenital, for example if you have a genital wreath that has not fully matured. If you experience secondary dyspareunia, it means that you have not always had pain during sex. Reasons why it has become painful may be that you do not spend enough time wetting the vagina before penetration, dry mucous membranes, allergic reaction to intimate soap or perfumed products, scar tissue or sewing of stretch marks that feel tight after birth, prolapse, dryness due to. hormonal contraception, endometriosis, certain sexually transmitted diseases, severe tightening of the pelvic floor muscles, sore cervix, infection in the vagina, that you do not feel safe, that the pain occurred after a certain situation eg gynecological examination, sex or abortion etc.
Tips for pain during sex
If you are experiencing pain during sex, it can be a great help to listen extra well to what your body is telling you. Give yourself really good time to get wet, caress many other places on the body, maybe oral sex if you like it. Some need up to an hour of other stimulation, maybe more, before they feel ready for penetration sex, so feel good about what you feel like and need. It can also be helpful to use a mild and chemical-free lubricant.
Exercise to soften your tissues
You can also do other things to soften your tissue. Try sitting on a chair with a hard-rolled tea towel between your legs and do some deep breathing, where on your exhalation you let go of the muscles in the pelvis and "sink" further down. Do this for a few minutes to make contact with the area and then remove the tea towel and feel how it feels. Maybe it's a little hot and buzzing. In addition, if you have dry mucous membranes, it may help to take a dietary supplement with sea buckthorn oil. You can also massage your vulva and groin with some delicious oil a few times a week or daily to soften the area if you have tense muscles. If you have pain in certain places on the vaginal wall or in the cervix, you can try to relieve this pain by holding on to the point. Start by taking a deep breath, then press as deep as you can into the point in the vaginal wall / cervix with either your fingers or a glass dildo, hold the pressure for 3 seconds and then release the point on your exhalation.
Dyspareunia can be painful when having penetrative sex. You can try Ohnut's buffer ring which reduces pain during sex. Ohnut is nicely soft, and is designed to feel like skin. This makes the rings discrete and lovely to wear. The rings give the feeling of a full penetration, and make sure that sex is not about pain but pleasure.
Listen to your body and take care of yourself!
Also read about endometriosis here, or our guide on how to care for your abdomen here!