The complete guide to kink and mild BDSM

What does BDSM, dominating, a dominatrix or bondage mean? Read our guide and learn something (maybe) new about pleasure

Kink

Kink can be translated to something like deviation from "the normal" and can lie close to the word fetish. There is a sea of ​​different kinks and it can be quite individual. You can explore the more kinky side of your sex life by including various elements of BDSM (Bondage / Discipline, Dominance / submission, sadism / masochism) which I believe is the most common kink. As my starting point, I will explain mild BDSM, which includes bondage, dominance play and exploring boundaries with eg. pain. I will give tips and tricks to get more kink into the bedroom and how this can be done in a safe and comfortable way based on my own experience.

Is kink for everyone?

Yes and no, kink is an incredibly broad topic and can cover everything from putting on naughty lingerie, getting a slap on the butt, getting tickled with a feather, all the way to the more hardcore BDSM with bondage and whipping. Some only find their kink after exploring for a long time, while others are very clear about what exactly turns them on. Not everyone is kinky and many prefer the more toned down sex. This is important to keep in mind if you have a partner(s) in bed and thus have different desires and limits in play. Kink can also be practiced solo, eg. by putting on certain clothes / lingerie / equipment, masturbating with certain objects, denying oneself orgasm, playing with heat, cold, pain etc. The list is long. As a rule of thumb, it is always a good idea to start by exploring yourself and your own boundaries alone before inviting others under the covers.

Communication and safety

Especially with BDSM, it is important to talk and align expectations before going for it. BDSM often involves bondage, dominance and pain, these three things can quickly seem borderline to many. My tip is to practice BDSM with partner (s) you are comfortable with and agree on a safeword or that you can "tap out" at any time, so you do not have to misunderstand each other and end up crossing each other's boundaries.
An example is dominance play, which involves mild suffocation or pushing partner down in bed, here you can find that it is difficult to say verbally, and therefore agree before you can tap out by, for example, patting nyour partner on the thigh.
So ALWAYS remember to communicate together, align expectations, respect each other's boundaries and always have safe sex and only use body-safe toys. Feel free to cultivate your kink with partner(s) you feel completely comfortable with, this is the best way to explore kink.

Bondage

A good quality set of handcuffs is a must when talking bondage and can lay a good foundation for exploring. If you need to be put in your place, or if you have an inner dominatrix ready to be unleashed, then Orion, by unbound babes is a delicious offer for a set that can not only be used on the wrists or ankles, but can also be fastened to the door frame, so that you have the opportunity to be completely fixed. Another position I think is super hot is sitting on a chair where your hands are fixed behind the back of the chair, then your partner can give you oral sex while you just have to sit there and accept;)

Handcuffs from unbound babes here

- A strap measuring 20 cm
- Material blue leather
- Vegan leather & brass
- Easy to clean
- Adjustable cuffs
- 20cm strap length

Tip: if you are a little acrobatic and the size of the cuff allow for it, it is possible to lie on your stomach / back and get your legs and hands cuffed together, and thereby achieve a full fixation with good access to genitals. You can also assemble the two cuffs into a collar
If you think Orion is too much, you can also try the Discrete Cuffies.

Play with pain

Spike from unbound babes is a fun way to bring some pain play into the bedroom. I would recommend using spike during foreplay and preferably when you are handcuffed or blindfolded, that feels extra hot. Spike can both tickle and prickle, depending on where the spike is used on the body, especially down the back, sides and on the buttcheeks. I think it is extra sensitive and tantalizing.

Spike is 16.51 cm long

- Made of steel and acrylic in medical quality
- Stainless and waterproof
- Does not use power
- For BDSM and pain games
- The handle is made of colored acrylic and the wheel of surgical-grade steel
- Length: 16.51 cm
- Good for BDSM

Edging og sexy vibrations

Whether you want to play with edging is up to you and your own preferences, edging is about the denial of orgasm, getting so close that it is almost unbearable and only then finally letting yourself or your partner (s) come. When edging, you take small teasing breaks all the time, which makes the recipient very excited. Here the giver has the power to deny or give the receiver pleasure. In any case, it can be exciting and tantalizing to bring a vibrator into the game.
Endless fun from satisfyer is a gender-neutral vibrator that can be used in many ways: stimulation of nipples, penis, clitoris and for penetration vaginally and anally. This is a wild partner to have in the game, as almost only the imagination sets limits on how to stimulate each others erogenous zones.

I myself was surprised at how delicious and flexible the material was - and that it was very quiet. After using it I was sold, it is a keeper !!! and my boyfriend couldn't agree more.
Due to the many possibilities for variation in stimulation, it is a good idea to practice solo and perhaps with partner (s) before using Endless fun in a context of bondage, so you are sure that you know each other's bodies and what works and what doesn't.

Measures: 23.5 cm in length.

Advantages:

- Easy to clean
- Body-friendly silicone
- Waterproof
- Over 100 different vibration combinations
- Can be used in countless ways
- Rechargeable (Magnetic Charger included)
- 3 powerful engines

Disadvantage:
- May be a little too big in some positions with partner (s).
- Not fit for use with silicone-based lube

Tip

Dirty talk and edging go hand in hand in my opinion, if you are not used to teasing verbally, it obviously requires courage. As inspiration, one can start using phrases like "do you like what I am doing to you?" and after edging your partner "Do you want more?" "Are you sure you can handle it?" and then continue the game "I love to feel you…." You can tease each other both physically and verbally, it can be fun and naughty, but most importantly you can be yourself and keep your own boundaries in mind. 

Kinky inspiration for you:

• Blindfold: experience yourself or your partner (s) in a whole new way, a blindfold triggers the imagination 
• Role-playing games, costumes and lingerie, explore different fantasies / scenarios and realize them with some naughty lingerie or a uniform costume. Disguise can also make the contrast dominant / submissive. 
• Physical dominance, such as suffocation, slapping and being held down can be incredibly hot, but be aware that this is a situation where you can quickly cross boundaries. Use a flogger like TSK that can be used both hard and gently. 
• Expand play with the senses, put clamps on nipples and other erogenous zones, drip hot body-safe wax over the body, use stimulating lubricants, play with ice cubes, use a fragrant massage oil, the list is long. 
• Anal sex and buttplugs, read more about this here 
• Bondage with rope, Shibari, for the more experienced, who wants to explore fixation. 

With all these kinky ideas you are ready to explore your own kinky side. Remember remember remember: consent, communication and safety. May you all have some lovely kinky experiences out there!

Also read the guide to massaging yourself here!
Or the guide to finding the perfect dildo here!