There are many different ways to have penetrative sex. You may already have your favourite positions, or maybe you're looking for some inspiration. That's why we've put together a guide to help you find your new favourite position or maybe just try something new.
What's the best sex position?
There are countless sex positions, some more demanding than others. Not all positions work for everyone, so if you try something and it just doesn't feel right, just move on to another position. The best sex position isn't the most creative, ambitious or physically challenging, but the one that just feels good - and sometimes it can be as classic as a missionary!
The guide is aimed at all bodies and sexualities, but if you're looking for more queer specific positions, you can read our guides "sex positions to stimulate the G-spot and clitoris" or "sex positions to stimulate the prostate".
The classic good sex positions (that are not missionary)
Although doggystyle is fairly intuitive, there are actually several different ways you can experiment with the position. For example, the penetrator can raise one knee so the support is on their foot instead. This way the penetration can be deeper.
Another option is that the receiving person can choose to rest on their hands, or slide lower and rest on their forearms. If you slide all the way down, a small pillow or similar under your stomach may be useful.
For a type of seated doggy, both of you can spread your legs a little and lean back. For better balance, the person penetrating can put their arms around the other to hold on.
The spoon is a good position for both intimacy and intensity. There are many ways to vary this position. The 'little spoon' can lie with their legs stretched out and held together, with one leg raised, or with both legs bent forward towards the stomach. Because of the angle, this position is also ideal for anal sex.
One way to go from a more gentle to a more intense pace is to start with legs stretched and gathered. In this position it is also nice if the big spoon puts their arms around the small spoon. When you want to pick up the pace, the small spoon can raise their knees, turn over onto their back and put their legs more or less over the other while the big spoon is still on their side.
Like the doggy, the cowgirl position can seem pretty straightforward, but there's plenty of scope for variation here too. For example, the person on top can experiment with different paces, or alternate between resting on their knees or squatting. In this way, cowgirl is actually really good for both slow, intimate sex and fast, "harder" sex.
The reclining person can also alternate between lying completely down or sitting leaning against a wall. Sitting leaning against the wall also makes it easier to switch between a faster and slower pace. For example, you can sit close and almost hug a little, or the person sitting on top can squat down and keep their balance better by holding on to the other person's shoulders.
Sex positions for clitoral orgasm
Many people with vulvas find it difficult to orgasm from penetration alone. Studies also show that 75% of people with vulvas need clitoral stimulation to orgasm during penetrative sex. If you experience the same, it may be obvious to choose a position where the clitoris can be easily reached.
You can stimulate the clitoris with your fingers or with a clitoral stimulator. If you haven't found your favourite stimulator yet, check out our wide range of stimulators here or read our guide to stimulators here. And now for the positions:
The lifted missionary
Missionary is an obvious position to reach the clitoris, especially if the penetrator is kneeling more in front of you instead of leaning over you. If you put a pillow or similar under your lower back so you're lifted a bit, it's even easier to reach, too.
Did you know that you can also stimulate the clitoris from the outside by touching the labia? For some, the clitoral glands are close to the labia, so it feels great to be touched here. With the groin lifted, there's easier access for your partner who can easily run their fingers over the vulva as they penetrate.
Reverse cowgirl is also a great position for reaching the clitoris. Reverse cowgirl is like regular cowgirl, except the one on top has to turn 180 degrees. For the one on top, it can also be beneficial to lean forward a little and rest your hands on your partner's legs.
You can experiment with placing your legs inside between your partner's legs, or with your legs over your partner's legs. When you have your legs over your partner's legs, your own legs are a little more spread out and it's a little easier to reach the clitoris. It might be a good idea to use a clitoral stimulator that takes up a little more space than your fingers.
The scissors sex position is a very versatile position and can be used for both penetrative and non-penetrative sex. The scissors can be done in many ways and by all kinds of bodies. One way is for one person to lie slightly on their side with one leg raised. The other person can then sit cross-legged on the lying leg and then penetrate or just grind. For the person lying down there is good access to the clitoris.
You can also do it by the person lying on their back and holding themselves up on their elbows. Then you lift the leg so that the other person can sit cross-legged again, and there is again good access to the clitoris.
BDSM stands for bondage, domination/submission, and masochism. BDSM requires clear rules and communication, and is therefore a good way to enhance intimacy for many. A good way to introduce BDSM to your sex life is through bondage, which can be practiced in different ways:
Lying BDSM positions
With bondage tape, cuffs, or ropes, you can experiment with different ways of tying each other up. For example, you can tie your hands in front or behind your back, tie your feet together or try the rather challenging wrist to ankle.
Wrist to ankle bondage works by sitting on your knees with your head resting against the bed/surface. As you stretch your arms back and in between your legs, your wrists are now in line with your ankles, and then you just pin them.
When experimenting with bondage, it's always important to have a verbal or physical stop word in place if the play gets too much. Especially if you're using other BDSM elements, such as a gagball, that make it difficult to talk during.
You can read more about how to get started with bondage in our guide here.
Seated BDSM positions
Bondage is also obvious seated, for example by tying your hands to the legs of a chair or just behind your back. The seated partner can then be stimulated with hands, mouth, or a vibrator. Here you can also introduce other BDSM elements such as a feather tickler, a flogger, or wax candles.
Want to learn more about kink and BDSM? Read our guide and get tips on how to get started.
The 69 position
Although most of the positions in this guide are penetrative, sex doesn't have to be penetrative. Oral sex is also a great way to have sex, and here the 69 position is probably one of the most well-known. You can do it the classic way, lying down, or you can slide more over onto your side.
The 69 position is extra good because you're both giving and receiving. The only downside is that it can be hard to focus on pleasure when you're preoccupied with the other person, but I guess that's a bit of a luxury problem.
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