Guide to pegging

You may have come across the term pegging before, but what does it actually mean? And how do you do it? Read our guide here and get advice on how to get started

What is pegging?

Pegging typically refers to a person with a vulva using a strap-on to penetrate a person with a penis. The core of the act is therefore anal sex, so why has it been given a separate term? There are many reasons, often linked to the stigmatization of certain sexual acts and sexuality. There is a very ingrained prejudice that if a person with a penis likes any kind of stimulation of the anus, they are necessarily gay or something similar.

But let's be clear, you don't suddenly have a certain sexuality just because you like certain sexual acts that are typically associated with that sexuality. There is absolutely no one who can determine or dictate your sexuality - only you. To have to call it pegging because it is then completely separate from penetrative anal sex between homosexual individuals is completely unnecessary and helps to perpetuate stigma. Pegging is just anal sex, so let's call it that.

How do you talk to your partner(s) about pegging?

Because there is so much stigma around heterosexual people with penises who enjoy anal sex, it can be very vulnerable to talk about it. Sexual fantasies are already a very vulnerable topic, even with partner(s). You can read more about this in our guide to talking about sexual fantasies here, where you can also find more tips for the conversation itself.

There are many times to have the talk about sexual fantasies - before, during and after sex. But when it comes to anal sex, it can be a good idea to talk about it beforehand. It requires some warming up before it's comfortable, and some people prefer to prepare by rinsing their anus. Of course, it also requires some kind of strap-on dildo, so that needs to be taken into account as well.

How do you choose a strap-on?

As mentioned, you need a strap-on - which consists of a dildo and a harness.There are two types to consider: The first type is the strap-on dildos that need to be attached to a harness. A harness can look many different ways, some are more simple and others look like lingerie, like this Rebel Harness from Strap-on-Me

We sell many types of harnesses, and common to all of them is the O-ring in the middle that can hold a dildo in place. When a dildo has a wide base, like these two dildos from Addiction, it can be attached to this O-ring.

The second type is the strapless strap-on dildos. These are the kind where you don't need a harness, but can insert the strap-on dildo into the vagina, where it is held in place.

An example is this self-fitting strap-on from Fun Factory. The shorter arm is inserted into the vagina and held in place by the slightly bent top. This type cannot vibrate, but there are other types that can, such as this self-fitting strap-on. Self-fitting strap-ons aren't for everyone - some describe how the penetration from the smaller arm can feel too harsh when penetrating others at the same time.

Others, on the other hand, like the sensation and the feeling of being penetrated while penetrating others.It is therefore very individual, but you can consider whether you generally like harder penetration or if you are more sensitive inside.

See our full range of Strap on dildos and harnesses here.

What else do you need for pegging?

Besides a strap-on, lube is essential. The anus needs plenty of  moisture so that penetration is comfortable. Since most strap-ons are made of silicone, you need to use a water-based lube, as silicone-based lubes break down silicone surfaces. There are several different types of water-based lubes, some of which also have a warming or cooling effect. Warming lubes like this one from System Jo can relax the sphincter, which can make penetration more comfortable.

Cooling lubes can also be pleasurable, but can have a slightly more teasing effect than the warming one.

Alternatively, you can use an oil-based lubricant. These are not absorbed by the skin as quickly as water-based lubes. Therefore, you don't need to add more along the way as you might have to do with water-based lube. The downside is that they are a little more difficult to clean off afterwards. A good oil-based lubricant for anal sex could be the CBD lube from sitre. This lube has 1% CBD, which is both relaxing and can increase sensitivity as well.

More advice for anal sex

Some people prefer to clean the anus before having anal sex. To do this, you can use an anal douche that rinses the lower rectum. It is important to put lukewarm water in the anal douche. Too hot water can burn the rectum, while too cold water can cause fainting or nausea. But don't worry, it's very easy to tell if the water is at a comfortable temperature by testing it on your forearm first. However, it's still important to be aware of the risks associated with using an anal douche.

If you want more in-depth guidance on how to get started with penetrative anal sex, you can also read our guide here.

Read also: Edging: What, why and how?

Also read: What is consent and how to give it?