What is praise kink and how is it done?

Praise kink, or affirmation play as it is also known, is a sexual act or game that involves praise and uplifting remarks. Most people feel good when they receive praise. Whether it's a compliment for appearance, performance or personality, recognition is something most people appreciate. Those who identify as having a praise kink are aroused by compliments in a sexual context.

What is praise kink?

For some people with a praise kink, compliments can trigger a sexual response and for others, it can make them downright horny. Praise kink is considered to overlap with people who like to take submissive positions in the sexual space: praise can bring those with submissive tendencies into an almost euphoric sexual state. However, dominant individuals can also be easily aroused by praise. There is also a link between praise kink and having recognition through words as their primary love language. If you want to learn more about love languages, read our guide here.

Praise kink is often considered a mild component of BDSM play - however, this isn't always the case and, as with all kink, it's all about context and what you make of it. While some people find it naughty if anyone compliments them, there are others who only get sexually aroused by receiving compliments from specific people.

How to practice praise kink?

The praise given to the person with praise kink can take many different forms. Some people like compliments that focus on skills - for example, acknowledging how good they are at giving oral sex. Others like praise that focuses on their values - less about perfection and achievement and more about the type of person they are. For example, they may be caring, considerate or hardworking. 

If you and your partner(s) are both keen to explore what praise kink can do, it's a very safe and secure way to explore your sexuality. If your partner(s) have a praise kink, it's a good idea to ask them if there's a particular type of praise or words that set them on fire.

Praise kink phrases for inspiration

The best way to learn what praise words and phrases work between you and your partner(s) is to ask them and experiment with them in a consensual way. If you're not sure where and how to start, here are some phrases to get inspired by. Read the list and see if there are any phrases that speak to you more than others. You can also go through the list - or read it out loud - to your partner(s) and together you can figure out which phrases hit the mark.

You look so beautiful/gorgeous/sassy/sexy when you [insert activity].
I'm so proud of you.
It feels amazing when you [insert activity]. Keep doing it.
I love when you [insert activity].
I can't stop thinking about when you [insert loving or naughty thing they did].
Your ass looks amazing.
You are so good at [licking my pussy / sucking my cock / fucking me / insert activity].
I wish I could show you off to everyone.
You are so loved and appreciated.
Your body drives me crazy.
I adore your [insert body part(s)].
Look at you.
You always know exactly what I need.
You really know how to use your [insert body part].

Of course, the above sentences are just a starting point. You will undoubtedly come up with your own and adapt them to your partner(s) as you explore praise kink more.


Read also: How to get started with bondage and shibari

Also read: How to get good at spanking and impact play